Confessions of a Pastor's Wife ~ Addiction, don't judge me!
I wrestled through the day over the upcoming topic and BAM out of no where nausea set in. I had gone over the details with my accountability person, even attempted to make a deal with God but He continued to urge me to talk about my issues. Getting real about a stronghold hindering my spiritual life would be difficult knowing scrutiny would accompany vulnerability...
"Addiction" was the topic for the Bible study participants. We've been journeying through Beth Moore's book, "Praying God's Word, breaking free from spiritual strongholds" woah! This lesson demanded confronting a substitute I relied on when stress escalated: Food. I'm a slave to food. There's that.
Every celebration or sad moment became an opportunity to focus on food. Behind closed doors the love of and longing for it became my refuge. Don't get me wrong, I need Him always but somewhere along the way stuffing my face became the quick fix to dull my inner pain. I've battled feeling helpless, not to mention the weight gain followed by the cycle of guilt, failure and negative self talk.
I don't want to make this a "spiritual thing" but it is for me but we know addiction of any kind is a problem. Depending something other than God is sin. Addiction elevates itself to a position of priority, dedeption and lies accompany addiciton. Followers of Christ are to surrender to Him only.
The solution? Prayer. No kidding! It's so simple, how did I miss the connection with my dependence on food and my need for God?(don't judge). When my mind is consumed with indulging in tasty morsels, prayer redirects my mind to back to God. I can tell you my prayer life has improved drastically. At the end of the day I know God desires to set me free from anything that doesn't bring Him honor. He is my deliverer.
Romans 8:31 (NIV)
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Psalm 34:17-19 (NKJV)
The righteous cry for help, the Lord hears,
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
Romans 6:22 (NLT)
We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.7For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.
1 Corinthians 6:12 (HCSB)
“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be brought under the control of anything.