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  • Rhonda Love

Confessions of a Pastors Wife! Bitter?



"sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it"

(Genesis 4:6 NASB)

It was quiet for now but it wouldn't be long before they'd line the doorway anticipating their daily caffeine fix. Aroma of fresh baked blueberry muffins mingled with apple cinnamon wafting through the air made my taste buds awaken. I leaned over my steaming cup of coffee at our favorite coffee place and poured my heart out to my person. She held her hand up as if to silence my words, firm but gently she said, “I sense bitterness right there”.

The smell of muffins lingered as thick as the bitterness hovering over my heart planning to destroy me. I went away from the shop with choices to make.

Will bitterness control me?

Will I become obedient and guard over my broken bitter heart?

Bitterness occurs when we feel someone has taken something from us that we are powerless to get back. It ferments and spills over into our lives elevating injustice, encouraging the wound to become deeper which leads to anger and temper tantrums. The ultimate plan of bitterness is to steal our joy and replace it with misery.

Overcoming bitterness involves commitment

1-Forgive: forgiving is more for you than someone else. It's our choice to cancel a debt, however we have to take into consideration the forgiveness Jesus extends to us. Releasing someone sets you free.

"Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32)

2-Resist the temptation: Don't be lured into believing there's nothing you can do. Focus on healing rather than hating. Bitterness is energy draining so make a plan to release the anger and redirect your passion.

"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise" (Philippians 4:8 NLT)

3-Stop rehearsing: Replaying the incident inflates the problem. Find your healing from the painful experience and the sense of powerlessness that comes from thinking on the hurt, concentrate on the solution.

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth"

(Colossians 3:2 NASB)

4-Grace Giver: We enjoy the benefit of grace but somehow we are stingy with it. We have a right to hold onto the pain we've experienced but hanging onto anything other than the Lord is wrong. Our extension of grace should never be based on our feelings or understanding of a situation. Instead, we are called to give grace because we have received grace.