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  • Rhonda Love

Secret life of the Pastors wife

It’s Sunday. Not going to make church today. Insomnia again. No overthinking my outfit or stressing about unrealistic expectations. I love Jesus, my husband and the church. But I don’t always love being a pastor’s wife...


Things you should know about pastor’s wives. We aren’t all the same. Our struggles aren't the same and we don't share the same gifting's but we may have one thing in common. Secrets.


Welcome to highlights of the secret life of a pastor’s wife:

She's a real human. She stumbles. Her home may be a wreck and her family struggles like your family. She argues with her husband, they are not perfect.


The eyes that watch her every move are subtle but felt. She hears the whispers about her clothes, hairstyle, weight gain or loss. Stop it. She gets hurt. The church is full of broken people and hope. Within the church, pain is real. Hurtful words. Relationships get broken. Pastors have the hard job of speaking the truth in love. People leave. Churches go through changes. Everyone is affected. Assumptions. Conclusions. Where is the willingness to talk it out? When he hurts, she hurts too.


There's a real good chance your pastor’s wife is angry. She carries the wounds of the church but rarely takes time to process it. She too is a sinner saved by grace. For heavens sake give her grace.


What if you accepted your pastor’s wife for who she is instead of who YOU want her to be, what she does or doesn’t do? Odds are she deals with guilt for not doing enough. Not being enough. Your pastor’s wife needs to be herself: introvert, extrovert, obnoxious, quiet, or just there on the sidelines.


The biggest juiciest secret? perhaps it is that she simply longs to be loved as a sister in Christ, not just because she’s married to the pastor.


God is her everything; her confidant, help, hope and bff. His promises are inexhaustible.