Come Sit With Me...

Many hours have been spent on this amazing front porch. From large dinner parties to quiet evenings with my sweet family; to sitting there studying for hours, drinking coffee with friends or having a girly girl tea party. If this 100 year old porch could tell stories from days gone by, I can’t even imagine the amazing stories that could be told. The porch that has become my place of refuge has obviously seen a lot of change over time, yet it remains. One of the things I've come to enjoy most about the front porch is the unplanned moments spent with pastors wives. Coffee and conversation leads to uncontrollable laughter; after all, it is my policy to laugh often and a necessary part of our time spent together. Before we know it, the thick, tall walls of protection are minimized and vulnerability begins to emerge. Now I’m not trying to get in anybody’s business, but spending time on the front porch encourages the mask coming off and we start getting real. You see, after 26 years in ministry, I have learned that being real is a very important part of what we do as ministers’ wives and too often we aren’t allowed that freedom. Many unrealistic expectations are placed on the pastors wife which inevitably leads to her shutting down. Some expectations are real while others are self imposed. One of the loneliest, most isolated people in your church is probably your pastors wife. Pick up your jaw! Maybe I’m revealing too much too soon, but many pastors wives wear the smile and say the right things, but deep inside she is broken and wounded. News flash - we are real people with everyday issues just like you. Being a pastor’s wife brings enough baggage alone, add to that the demands of family, possibly a full time job and there you have a recipe for real life obstacles and daily challenges. I’ll never forget the day a lady took the liberty of telling me that she thought I lived in the lap of luxury! Hello? At the time, I was working a full time job, carpooling, managing the home, singing on a worship team and trying to balance it all with an absent husband. Did I mention that often pastors wives feel like single moms? As I enlighten you to some of the struggles of being a pastor’s wife, I am in no way looking for pity. Save the sympathy for later. What we are hoping for is acceptance, understanding and the freedom to be ourselves. Whatever the situation may be, the most important and crucial mission is for a pastors wife to find her way back to being the woman God called her to be. Together on that big front porch, we find a safe place where we can unravel the negative feelings that have deceived us and unveil the lies that have distracted us from living out our calling. What is the call of your pastors wife? To please The Father. That’s all! The majority of pastors wives are toting baggage, if you disagree then yay for you. Come sit with me… Psalm 121

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