At one point (or more) in our 26 year marriage I did not like him and I did not like myself. I needed his undivided attention for about fifteen “uninterrupted” minutes. If you’re in ministry you’re probably laughing too. A pastor has many roles- some only see him on Sunday so they think he only works a few hours a week however if you’re married to a minister you are keenly aware of one on one time issues. The truth is we were both going in a million different directions and the elephant in the room was just there, waiting to be addressed.
Life had become chaotic and we didn’t have time for conversation, therefore the “well oiled machine” was not running well at all. I vividly recall us avoiding one another because we didn’t want to confront the situation. Oh! it wasn’t that we didn’t want to, we just didn’t want to take the required time to sort through, focus and find resolve with the issue. I guess what I’m saying is it was easier to ignore it than to work through it.
The day came when I blew a gasket, I’d had enough. It was not a pretty or healthy situation. (I’m sure you’ve never experienced that in your marriage or relationships) We simply had no choice but to take a time out and sort through the clutter that had piled up around.
Our unity (oneness, harmony, accord, wholeness and cooperation) had been interrupted by the one thing that I think is meant to destroy us - BUSY! We had become too busy for our own good, a distraction that was driving a wedge between us. Like us, you also have to make a conscious decision to put the brakes on and resolve it before it becomes destructive.
Lets be honest, we’re all so busy we can’t even think straight. Why? because we have chosen to be busy. However, some use “busy” as an excuse to avoid commitment and responsibility - now there’s a can of worms we should open up but we won’t, we’re addressing “unity” today.It’s time we clear the clutter and the stage of our lives.
Here are some ideas:
1-Recognize busy is not healthy. Busy brings on burnout and shut down.
2-Stop using busy as a crutch or an excuse - we all have 24 hours in our day so use it wisely. Find someone who is great at time management and get some insight. If we fail to plan, we plan to fail.
3-Give your marriage time, as in, take the time to sit down and actually talk to each other. Conversation is becoming less important while busy rules our lives. We give you permission to say “no” to adding more to your platter.
4-Being intentional will preserve what God intended our marriage to become, one. Unity promotes harmony in the home.
5-Revisit this topic on a regular basis. “Busy” sneaks up on us and before we realize it we’re caught in its trap again.
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:13-14 NIV